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Talk:KThxBye/@comment-3284502-20190520191543
Okay, I've changed my mind about not posting detailed thoughts about Game of Thrones' ending. I'm not tired and disinterested anymore, I'm fucking PISSED. Let's do this. - JON SNOW - Fuck this show and fuck the fact it keeps sucking Jon's dick. The sun does not shine out of Jon's ass and I'm tired of everyone acting like it does. Jon would've 'forgave' someone who committed treason? Bull fucking shit. He hanged a traumatized ten year old for betraying him. And if this show were realistic, that would have been a longer, more drawn out death than dragon fire because a ten year old isn't tall enough to have their neck snap. He would've strangled to death and it would have been agonizing. DON'T TELL ME JON IS THIS PERFECTLY PURE SOUL WHO WOULD NEVER HAVE HURT ANYBODY. Jon beats the shit out of people who insult him (or he did in earlier seasons when he was ALLOWED to have pesky things like FLAWS) and is not good at compromise either (and, in fact, executed people for disobeying his orders, but nobody calls THAT an example of Targaryen madness). Instead, we get him sticking a knife in Dany's heart but he 'had' to do it (without even TRYING to bring her back from madness of course) AKA treason. But god forbid Jon be PUNISHED for that. Uh, am I the only one who remembers that Jaime killing a king who was FAR LESS POPULAR than Dany was met with INSTANT ostracization and a permanent bad reputation? Kingslaying is not a small deal.Â And of course, when Yara points out the only reason they have SHIT to work with in building a 'better, more merciful world' is because DANY already made the hard choices and did the dirty work, Arya threatens to kill her for saying Jon should be executed for killing his queen. Consequences are for OTHER, non-perfect, people. Then again, if we were dealing with realistic consequences, Drogon would have either toasted Jon's Jesus-wannabe ass the instant OR Grey Worm would have executed Jon on the spot and damn the Starks. Hell, we don't even have to deal with even a minor consequence of Ghost not being over the moon to see him, because who cares that Jon sent him above the Wall with Tormund without so much as a pat on the head and a 'Good boy'? At least the show didn't have him murder Dany to make him 'the true king' because I would have made like Drogon and spat fucking FIRE. The Starks don't want to be part of the kingdom anyways so I don't see why it's so fucking important to appease them. "The Northmen will kill you if you hurt Jon" - Sansa, the city is full of Unsullied and Dothraki and Yara just made it clear you can throw the ironborn's lot in with them, and the Dornish don't seem happy to have Dany killed either. Never mind that the Unsullied are extremely skilled and have taken on less-battered armies and won. Your army is not special. Fuck you. - SANSA STARK - I'm so upset about this. I WANTED Sansa as Queen in the North. I wanted it way back in Season 6 when she liberated Winterfell from the Boltons (Oh, but she SMILED when Ramsay died and killed him in a method other than hanging or beheading? Dare I say 'MAD' QUEEN?) because it was her Knights of the Vale who won the battle. But I'm gonna be blunt - Northern independence is FUCKING STUPID. There, I said it. I wanted either the Iron Throne melted down and to have the Kingdoms go their own ways, but HELPING EACH OTHER to rebuild after the devastation of the war of the 5 kings, the Long Night, and all the carnage caused by Cersei, OR I wanted the kingdoms to stay together. The entire point of the White Walkers storyline is that people CANNOT STAND ALONE. They need to work together and help each other with what's really important. Sansa's been a subversion of this point the entire time - she's acted like a xenophobic, ungrateful, spoiled brat this entire storyline. "We can't trust these people because they're not us" - Well, great, it's nice to know they just put Cersei 2.0 on the Northern throne. Her Riverlands mother must be SO PROUD. I hated it and I wanted to go into that throne room and smack that ugly crown off her head. And why the fuck is Sansa Stark so goddamn fucking special? Why does SHE get to decide uniliaterally that the North will be seceding and nobody else can? Especially since YARA WAS PROMISED INDEPENDENCE TOO. Oh, but that was from a "Mad" Queen so I guess the Ironborn's cause for independence just doesn't fucking matter. And nah, of course nobody else in the room has been screwed over by the Iron Throne just as much and for longer than the Starks (*cough* Martells *cough*) and who might want to leave. Nope, it's all about the fucking super special Starks. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU DO THIS? HOW DO YOU GIVE ME SOMETHING I *WANTED* AND KINDA LIKE AND STILL MAKE ME FROTH AT THE MOUTH IN *FURY* OVER IT???? And 'the north will never bow again' - Sansa, bowing to YOU is still fucking bowing. Besides, BRAN is king now - how much more 'son of the north ruling' can the Northlords WANT? Or rather, fuck you writers, because lord knows this isn't in character for Sansa. And for all the crap they gave about how hereditary monarchies are bad things because king's sons can be awful and how Sansa knows ALL ABOUT THAT...she's still leaving to establish a hereditary monarchy. What, are Stark genes so perfectly pure that she could never ever ever have an evil son? I suppose we’re supposed to see this as Sansa triumphing over the no good very bad Dany who was so unreasonable that she wouldn’t let the North be independent (despite the fact Dany earlier said the others could ask for independence too - I know, what is consistency to these clowns writing the story?). Unfortunately, it doesn’t. Just because Dany’s arc ended badly doesn’t make the Starks look good. It looks like they’re copying the Lannister’s xenophobia and racism (which was supposed to make Cersei look like a villain last season before they decided nah, Dany IS actually a tyrant who will burn the city on purpose and the Unsullied really ARE dangerous to Westerosi civilians. Oops). Your heroes looking like your villains is never a good look, showrunners, if you want us to keep sympathizing with them. Also, Sansa advocated stripping children of their homes because their parents betrayed the Starks. Don’t sit there and tell me she’s so much more forgiving than Dany. And if Dany is evil for not granting the north its independence (after their king ALREADY swore her fealty, yeah, how DARE Dany treat the North like its her subject just because they’re totally her subjects, like it or not), what does Sansa plan to do if the North doesn’t take to her leadership? What if a Northern house decides they want to stay with the Seven Kingdoms or follow Bran instead? Yeah, I thought so. - BRAN STARK - I need that macro that says 'Excuse me? What the fuck is this bullshit?' for this. I can't even be happy that he actually emoted a little and made a bit of a joke about why he came down to King's Landing, because it doesn't make any fucking sense. Why doesn't ANYBODY object to this? This looks like the Starks murdered the Queen, are separating from everyone else AND claiming the throne of what's left. That looks like a naked power grab and someone should've said something. But again, nope, nobody can object to the perfect fucking Starks. I know this show is trying to be poignant and saying that maybe someone who doesn't want power should be the one on the throne, but we saw the outcome of that - It's Robert 2.0. Someone who doesn't give a shit about ruling and leaves it to someone else so he can fuck off all day. We even saw that with the council meeting. They basically gave him an update and he said 'Welp, bye then, Bran Stark out, peace, carry on'. That's...not ruling. That's Bran fucking off to do god knows what. Bran also still doesn't care about what happens to humanity unless at the crisis wide White Walkers scale. And just because something is for the greater good doesn't mean it'll be a popular short term decision and that's the kind of thing that kick starts rebellions, especially because Bran is terrible at explaining his decisions. But nope, we're stuck here. And if one more person called him 'Bran the Broken' I'd've reached into my screen and throat punched everyone. Of all the ableist, condescending SCHLOCK titles they could've given him. Also, way to go with the 'he ruled wisely' cop out non-descriptor these books hate. At least Jon Â and Tyrion had whole arcs about ruling and leadership. If he could foresee them offering the throne, why the fuck couldn't he see King's Landing burn or Missandei's murder driving Dany 'mad'? If he did, THEN A HEAD'S UP WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE. Unless Bran doesn't give a shit about human life so long as things go how they're 'supposed' to go. Nice. And I love how the Three Eyed-Raven storyline....came to mean jack all. Oh wait, I don't. The only reason he's king is so the writers could haveÂ TyrionÂ make that ejaculatory, self indulgent, back patting spiel about the power of a good story (which, writers? You've completely given up on good stories, don't make me laugh). I dunno what's supposed to stop him from picking a niece or nephew to inherit, or rejoin the kingdoms, but whatever. The Seven Kingdoms now have someone with beyond absolute power - the power to see basically everything so everyone is screwed. All the power, none of the accountability. ...Wait, shit, I thought we WEREN'T supposed to put all the ingredients for a tyrant on the throne? Ah, well, 'yay team Stark'. I dunno who's going to back Bran Stark in an emergency, since his power base just seceded and the rest of the regions have no reason to care about him, but that's a future Bran problem. And don't think I didn't notice the election was stacked as shit. Bran's sister, her cousin, his other sister's boyfriend, his uncle, his brother's bff (who, despite not being a lord, gets a vote for some reason), his brother's advisor/new dad, and a guy who's been super loyal to his sister this whole time because of her time in the Vale. Seriously, the only two who didn't have any sort of connection to Bran were Yara and Lord Martell. If I were them, I'd demand a full Great Council with all the lords of Westeros. But again, push back is for shows that aren't being rushed off the air so its showrunners can go muck up Star Wars, so, screw it, King Bran it is. - ARYA STARK - I can't be too mad at her. She doesn't fucking do anything. I hate that the pack is split up though. Yes, Arya has a direwolf sail, but she's still fucking off to an area far away where nobody has ever returned alive from all alone. I hate that the Starks are split up again. "The lone wolf dies but the pack survives" my ass. The pack didn't survive. It's just one more kick in the thematic teeth for this show. ARYA IS A SOCIAL PERSON. SHE WANTED TO BE A KING'S COUNCILLOR. WHY CAN'T *SHE* BE THE MASTER OF WHISPERS? SHE EVEN HAS CONTACTS OUT IN ESSOS. Don't even say 'well she's BUILDING contacts out WEST' - we don't even know if anything IS West of Westeros, never mind if there's people there who would be amenable to political or economic relations.Â There's no indication this is a mission for Bran. This is just more schlock. - BRIENNE OF TARTH - I have no issue with Brienne being a knight of the Kingsguard. I hate that we don't get to see it. Instead, we get a short scene of her sadly filling in the rest of Jaime's pages on the Kingsguard book. At least she wasn't pregnant, I would've gagged if the end of her story was she had sex with a man who ditched her, ~but she'll always remember him through their bastard child~. I'd given that scene up for one of her being dubbed. Except...it's not really satisfying on that level either. She's serving someone she's barely interacted with. If Sansa were Queen, I'd have been happy, but she's not so I'm just kinda...scratching my head. Again, you made me dissatisfied with Brienne being on the Kingsguard - HOW THE FUCK DO YOU *DO* THAT? - TYRION LANNISTER - Oh, sweetheart, I'm sorry you trying to protect innocent people has been treated so poorly because the writers decided to stuff Dany in a refrigerator. I love you. So much. That said, how come it's hilarious when Sam suggests democracy but when Tyrion does it's okay? That succession though. A) Renly is yelling 'I thought of it first' waaaaay down in his grave. B) ...That's a terrible idea. The second the nobility disagree about who should be the next king, factionalism and war will break out. Because that's ALWAYS HOW NOBLES PLAY THE GAME OF THRONES. Like, it's one thing to say 'Well, Bran may not be able to have kids, so we'll kick the can of his successor down the road and give it to a Great Council, let's go with this for now, yeah?' and another to do that for EVERY RULER. Especially when there's no one super popular candidate. Like, I can't even see this as primitive democracy, it just looks like a recipe for another war. And his talk with Jon had me choking on the misogyny and the bullshit idea that Dany killing slavers (which EVERYONE in westeros would have demanded, it's a serious capital crime) is somehow a bad thing. Tyrion has served bloodthirsty rulers for years and he knows one when he sees one. He knows full well that while Dany can be ruthless, it is in DEFENCE of those who cannot defend themselves - which is what a Queen is SUPPOSED TO DO. What, is her torching White Walkers supposed to be 'foreshadowing' too? Fuck you, writers, for putting those words in Tyrion's mouth. - GREY WORM - My favourite soldier Love" but whatever. - Dany is definitely burning King's Landing in the books, but it'll be in the context of her fighting with Aegon VI (a tanner's son who Varys raised and is trying to pass off as the son of Rhaegar - AKA "the mummer's dragon" Dany was warned not to trust in the books). She's going to burn King's Landing, not knowing about the wildfire, and it will kill everyone in the city. It's going to force Dany to take a long hard look at who she is and what she wants for Westeros, and it will lead to her deciding not to focus on the Iron Throne, but on the real fight in the North. - Tyrion's going a bad way in the books - he's depressed, angry, and full of PTSD from killing Tywin, and so he's going to be vicious for a while when he gets back. He's going to take over Casterly Rock and when Cersei and Jaime die together, it's also going to have him take a long hard look at what he wants before he heads north. - Jaime chose Brienne in the books. Jaime had a choice - go back and save Cersei from the Faith Militant or go with Brienne when she asked him for help. He chose Brienne. He won't stay with her, but when he goes back to Cersei, it will be to strangle her to death, as per the valonqar prophecy. - Euron Greyjoy, in the books, wants to be a god. He's about to unleash an Eldritch Horror in the Reach. That cannot be ignored. It's strongly implied he used to be the Three-Eyed Raven's protoge before Bran, and that's why he covers his mismatched eye with a patch. Bran being the Three-Eyed Raven is going to matter, because he's the one who's going to bring Euron down. Yes, it's not going to be Asha (Yara), but his story in the books isn't ABOUT her. At least it's someone with a stronger story link than 'banging the same person'. - Stannis is alive and HE'S the one marching on Winterfell. I never thought I would say this, but THANK FUCK STANNIS IS STILL ALIVE. I still hate him and he's still definitely torching Shireen, but it'll probably be an attempt to stop the White Walkers. - WHICH BRINGS ME TO ANOTHER THEME. A very important theme in the books is going to be the fact you CANNOT decide what another person's life is worth. You cannot decide to sacrifice someone else for the greater good - not even if you think it'll save the world. The only thing you can give is yourself. That's why when Stannis kills Shireen, it's not going to work. Tyrion, Jon and Dany, I think, are going to sacrifice themselves and that is how they'll win. That's also why there's such a huge focus on looking into someone's eyes and hearing what they have to say before you kill them and not forgetting what death is. Some earthly things need to be ended in fire and blood, but you can't decide that when you get around to actively making sacrifices, the only thing you can give is yourself. That's why Dany's eggs don't hatch until SHE walks into the fire. - Sansa is still in the Vale. She's planning her return to the North, but it probably won't be to defeat the Boltons. She's also not acting like a jerk. She's still the hopeful, caring, compassionate girl we love. - Brienne is the True Knight in Westeros. She fulfills the vows that go around. She defends those who cannot defend themselves, no matter the cost to herself. "No chance, and no choice." is what she thinks about her chances of defending children against seven knights. This is why Brienne is the greatest knight, not just her strength. She's probably going to have something to do with Lady Stoneheart going down. - Arya's going to be turned away from trying to be an emotionally dead killer when she sees Lady Stoneheart in the books. At this point she will return home, probably after Lady Stoneheart commits unspeakable violence on the Freys, whether they personally were at the Red Wedding or not. - I can't stress this enough - "the lone wolf dies but the pack survives" - The Martells have a totally different plan in the books and they are not going away. They are fighting for a Targaryen restoration - "Rhaegar's son" right now, but probably Dany at some point. The Sand Snakes aren't laughable and Ellaria's not an insultingly bad villain (she's not a villain at all, but this show can't write Dorne to save it's life). - Sam is going to continue as Night's Watch's Maester, and he'll probably be the one who will write the account of what happened. - I'm pretty sure all the kingdoms will be split up into their own thing, and they are going to help each other rebuild. - There's gonna be a Greyscale plague. Not just from 'Aegon's' advisor having greyscale, but it's very possible Shireen's will come out of remission (there's a big deal among the wildlings about how greyscale always comes back). - I love Cersei, but she's never ruling in her own right. At best, she gets the hell out of dodge before Aegon VI gets into the Red Keep and she heads back to Casterly Rock. Tl;dr - There's no way this bullshit shakes out the same way in the books. I still love the setting, the characters, and the themes, and I greatly appreciate the work that went into them. Even in this shitfest, the actors were doing SO WELL. But the writing for the last two episodes was abysmal and that's effectively killed my enjoyment for the finale of my favourite show and that's always going to colour how I think about this show now. So thanks for that, writers. Thanks for absolutely fuck all.